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Monday, December 13, 2010

December AGAIN.... ALREADY

So it is December again and I find myself going into another year single...  It's cool.  I am dealing...  So in 2010 I did find myself in a good relationship and can't even complain about it.  (that's all I am going to say about that)

So what do I do different in 2011.  I am very secure about being single but I don't want to be single...  I do enjoy spending the holidays with my kids and my family.  They are surely a backbone for me during this time.  I have no problem with taking myself out to a movie or traveling across country alone to go and have a good time. 

I think I will come up with a few affirmations to get me through the next couple of weeks as they are setting up to be pretty tough...  God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference....

Monday, December 6, 2010

I Remember You (with lyrics), Brian Mcknight

Music is good for the Soul....

Today I have been knee deep in Pandora...  Got my station set on Brian Mcknight Radio...  Just my cup of tea.  I've been swooned by melodious melodies all day while have a productive day at work...  I truly think my mother had head phones on her stomach while she was carrying me because I just love music, especially ones that feature live instruments not computer generated beats...

Anywho... This has been good for my soul today... My mind has been racing with typical mommy duties, work duties, and finishing up my Bachelors Degree... 2 major classes away from the that day...  I will share my all time favorite Brian Mcknight song... Enjoy....

I Remember You ~ Brian McKnight

Friday, December 3, 2010

A Single Woman---- Opens Mouth, Insert Foot....

Urban dictionary.com defines Open mouth, Insert Foot as when one slips up in a conversation and eat their own words.  So that is kind of how I feel right now.  I have worked so hard on not being a reactive type of person in situations that don't go my way or that I don't agree with and recently had a relapse.  I turned a situation that was trying to be smoothed out into a cobblestones.

At any rate again I am learning from my reactive nature...

To all I bid adieu..

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Single AGAIN!!! :(

Well I find myself SINGLE AGAIN... And it was one of those "it's not you, it's me" type of deals... So my question to all those interested is what do you do when someone breaks-up and ask to remain friends? Is that considered a "clean break-up"? While I am having my own challenges with getting over the shock of it all, my mind races to understand and follow the un-said rules. Any little word or action can cross the friend line and possibly cause friction or frustration.

Not only did I LOVE but I LOVED hard and unconditionally. I operated outside of the box on this one... I allowed myself to let go and see the many possibilities of a relationship and it felt so damn good. It was like a drug and I constantly needed a fix. I am in no way saying that I am perfect but dang... I really want to SCREAM "WTF"...

I have no desire to go back to filtering through all the sour apples to find a good one again....

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Single Woman's Relationship with Herself

What I have learned over the 30 something years of my life is that I have to be able to have an healthy relationship with myself. What I have found in being in the relationships that I have been in is that I sometimes lose myself. My focus usually shifts to the man and the relationship. So recently I have had the opportunity to learn how to love myself completely. I have also learned to not rely on anyone else to make me happy. It is up to me totally... I feel that if I rely on others for my happiness I will be disappointed every time. I believe however that if I go into a relationship loving myself, the relationship will be that much better... You have so much to offer... Just some random thoughts... Be Blessed....

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Little girl gives herself a pep talk

A relationship with myself... I wanna be more like this little lady... And everyday give myself a pep talk in the mirror... It would make the day go by so much better!!!


Check out this great MSN Video: Little girl gives herself a pep talk

What a wonderful thing.

Please leave your affirmations in the comments section!!!

Friday, June 18, 2010

A single woman ask "What if he or she doesn't reciprocate?"

So as most of you already know if you follow my blog, I messed up my relationship... Well we have been communicating lately and I feel so good about it... There is really no guarantee on reconciliation but shoot it is a start. Well today I was thinking about what happens when you tell a person how you are truly feeling and they do not reciprocate. What I mean is that they don't return the gestures...

I find myself telling him that "I miss him" and "I love him" because those are the feelings that I have and I want him to know it. I don't do it expecting him to return the favor but I do wonder if his feelings have changed because he doesn't say anything back. Now my guess is that he doesn't want to give me any false hope of a possible make up. But that is just my thoughts. The thing that he makes clear to me is that he is not making any sudden decisions and will not rush back into a relationship with me. This surely leaves a shady area of grey because he may just be considering NOT reconciling... Which would totally suck...

Anyway... I just got a lot of things on my mind in regards to this situation and I don't know exactly what to do... Guess this is the test that I have to go through.

Friday, June 11, 2010

A take on overcoming conflict...

I thought this was a interesting video I found on youtube... How do you overcome conflict in your relationships....



Blessings....

Pre- Birthday Praise Break!!!

I am just thanking God today for allowing me to almost see another year... Tomorrow is my 34th birthday... ***Stomping My Feet***

So in celebration of Gods grace and mercy on me... I would just like to share this praise break...



What a message... Giants do die... The bigger they are... The harder they fall!!!

Be Blessed.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A single womans take on "The One"....

This weekend I spent some time with two wonderful ladies. We spent majority of the evening drinking wine, eating, and talking about men and relationships. One thing that was discovered during our talk or what we came up with was that when you find the right mate it is easy... There is no judgements. That person loves you for being just the person you are.

It is so easy to love a person that is not going to judge you and have you taking a second look at yourself when you are around them. Situations and time spent with that person just flow. You laugh and smile and just have that warm feeling on the inside. It doesn't matter how much time or space that you have in between each other, there will be a connection.

But what we also realized is that we have to stop looking for the person that we think is right for ourselves. I mean I had a list of things that I wanted in a man... Tall, Bald, Athletic, Outgoing, etc... But those are the things that I wanted and when I found that type of man they were surely lacking internally. Mostly lacking in commitment. Another thing that I realized is that I have to look inside myself and see what about me that attracts the men who do not want to commit or who are unavailable... Still soul searching on that one...

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Womans Big Mistake

Ok so we ask God to send us the mate and he does... God sends you just about everything you ask him for and then some... Then the unthinkable happens... You mess it all up. You get in your own way to make that person leave you or you ask them to leave. But deep down inside you know it is a mistake... Unfortunately, people are not like God and will not give you second and third and fourth chances... In my most recent experience, I have learned that I need to really think about the consequences of my actions. So I have messed my relationship up by not talking it through, by not thinking, and just reacting to my gut... When indeed I am just acting on emotions... The kicker is that this is not the first time that I have allowed my emotions to dictate my actions with this person. One thing about words, you can not take them back...

Why do women do this? Why did I do this? Get in my own way. My problem is that I try to protect my heart from hurt but this hurts even worst than what probably could have happened and it is my own fault. I have lost the one thing besides my children that has made me happy over the last couple of months. And it seems that no matter what I do or say there is no getting him back. Lifes lessons are a hard dose of medicine to swallow...

What I am learning is that I have to always continue to work on me and how not to let my emotions control the wheel. I have learned what it has felt to be loved with ones whole heart and not some fake it till you make it love... I just hope that I am able to capture that feeling again before I leave this earth.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

My weight loss journey vlog... I got so much going on... LOL

So since I have not been on FB for the last 40 days because of lent, I have been taken up new things... Well my next big thing for 2010 is to get my weight under control. Now I don't think I have to bad of a figure but I sure needs a lot of work. I have never been a real small woman but I have always had a toned shape until I hit 30... What in the world happens in your 30's? LOL In effort to make myself more accountable I started a youtube vlog about my journey. Feel free to follow me if you wish. Below is the first video. Excuse everything that is going on in my hallway... LOL AND my oldest child in the background making noises. SO HAPPY BEING ME... BTW... I have tried... The South Beach diet, Hip Hop Abs, The 4 Day Diet, and now Insanity... I don't eat to much but I don't eat like I am suppose to... I always eat breakfast and lunch but most nights NO dinner.... Any suggestions on a new plan would be great...

See 1st video below:

video

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Single Woman is not so single anymore.....

So I know I have been MIA but Life Happens...

Just when you think that life is going to go one way, God steps in and throws a monkey wrench in the mix. While I was on my little soap box proclaiming my forever singleness (I know it is not a word), something happened. I met a wonderful man. Actually, this man was right in front of me the whole time. And because I pretty much got in my own way, I couldn't open my eyes wide enough to see that I had all that I have been waiting for just a phone call or short drive away. The thing is that I had to step outside of my comfort zone. Always searching for that ONE... But really what or who is the ONE... I actually don't know... I used to tell myself that if I could take this quality from one man and another quality from the next man, etc, I would have the perfect man. Well if we were living in a perfect world I would have had it that way... LOL What I have realized is that life is way too short to live a life alone. I gave him a fighting chance and it was the best thing that I could have done for myself in a LONG time.

So in the last couple of months this single woman got out of her own way. I can not describe how happy I am in words. I constantly ask myself is this what love really is suppose to be like.... WHEW!!!! There are challenges that he and I are about to face but with much effort on both of our parts things WILL come together.
So while I will continue to blog about different happenings and possibly experiences that I had as a single woman, I just wanted ALL who desires to read this blog, about my new found happiness. See ya soon... Luv ya like a play cousin....

What you see in that smile right there is FAVOR and HAPPINESS:

Friday, January 22, 2010

A Single Woman's Friday Night...

Ok so it is Friday and the workday is slowly coming to a end... When there is rain and cold weather this single woman wants to be cuddled up with a boo... So now I sit counting the minutes until the clock climbs down to me getting off work and I go home and get comfy on my couch and watch tv for the rest of the evening... I am so over that but what is a single woman to do...

I know I am single by choice and not by force but I can't just choose anybody to be with because I am lonely. These are the test of times for real. Normally, if it was fair weather, I would take myself out... But it is cold and rainy... Maybe I shouldn't let that stop me... Mr. Right could be out there waiting too.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Single Woman's take on confidence...

I have run into a lot of men in my short adult life and I know for sure that I am attracted to a confident man. When I say confident, I mean a man that knows what he wants and has no problem being a man. I don't want a man that is going to be intimidated by my personality and who is able to hold a solid conversation with me.

I have met men that tell me they can only be truthful and open with me when they are drunk or via text because there is something about being in front of me that intimidates them. Such a turn off... To me these men can not handle the truth themselves. I am a pretty blunt person so I say what I feel... Tactfully of course... Yet these men still want to date me... What in the world is that about?

I know that I am not all that nor do I pretend to be but come on there has got to be something better out there than that... I think confidence is the least that I could ask for from a man. What are your thoughts??? If any...

Monday, January 11, 2010

Who's in charge anyway.....

Really can not get my thoughts together right now so this is me just typing from off the cuff...

I am observing that when dealing with trying to pursue a relationship with different men, I have to do much more than before.... I know a man who lives approx. 20 mins away from me but over a bridge and when he ask me out he ALWAYS expects me to drive the distance to his home instead of coming my way... As I really sit here and think about it I can count on one hand how many times he has visited me as oppose to me going over there... What ever happened to the thrill of the chase?

Even in sexual situations, I am seeing a lot of men wanting a woman to come on to him... I am not saying that there is anything wrong with that what-so-ever but why does it now have to be all the time? Why have the roles changed? I may be living in a dream world but I would love for a man to "court" me... I want to be "submissive" not "aggressive"... I am not saying that I want to be barefoot, in the kitchen, having a whole bunch of babies but I so love the thrill of the chase.... Even some of the long distance friendships I have had, the man is always asking when will I be visiting them... WTF!!! I have 2 children in tote, you have none... Guess it doesn't matter anymore and a man is only gonna try to do what a woman has or will allow him too... Food for thought...

I don't have HIGH expectations because I have been single long enough to have a sense of independence... But I sure would love to be involved with some one who is chivalrous...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A Single Woman's take on Long Distance Relationships

So I have been on a few online dating websites previously and met some interesting men who do not live near me. I have connected with a couple and recently one in particular. So in effort of trying something out of the box I decided a few months ago to pursue a casual relationship with a man out of state. Man, it was great to connect with someone who I really could connect with and had a lot of the same interest. We decided that we would see each other at least once a month and we met in a central location. In the beginning it worked out well but the more I got to know him the more I wanted to see him..... The situation became so frustrating because after a long days work, I would want to come home and be able to ask him to come visit or whatever...

For a while we would get on the webcam and see each other and play some "adult games"....LOL I guess after a while the web chat got old because we stopped chatting online and mainly text or Blackberry messenger. Again I was frustrated with the situation as I would have liked it to grow into something but just couldn't find a way to get pass the distance. So eventually I made the decision to let that go. The sad part is that we were great friends prior to pursue a relationship and now everything is awkward...

So my take on long distance relationships is that they do not work. At least not without a solid foundation... What are your thoughts?

Friday, January 1, 2010

A Single Woman's New Years......

Happy New Year to all who are reading this blog... I hope that 2010 and beyond is all that you desire it to be.

As for me, I am living my life like it's golden... As usual I brought in the New Year in church. It was a great experience. Also, as usual I spent it alone but I am okay with that. I have reflected and I realize that I have spent the last 4 - 5 New Years or more alone. Well not necessary alone because I was with my wonderful church family but I am saying unattached. I did mention to one of my male friends that I was going to church for New Years and he was like, have fun because he wouldn't be there... Amazing...

At any rate... After the service was over I came home and had a glass of wine and bought a pair of shoes from online.... Retail Therapy is always great!!!

Just wanted to add a quick blog to wish everone a great new year.... My pastor said that 2010 is a year for RESTORATION, SATISFACTION, and CONFIRMATION.... Be Blessed

SN:My grammer may be off because these are random thoughts and I have relaxed the jargon.