Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Womans Big Mistake

Ok so we ask God to send us the mate and he does... God sends you just about everything you ask him for and then some... Then the unthinkable happens... You mess it all up. You get in your own way to make that person leave you or you ask them to leave. But deep down inside you know it is a mistake... Unfortunately, people are not like God and will not give you second and third and fourth chances... In my most recent experience, I have learned that I need to really think about the consequences of my actions. So I have messed my relationship up by not talking it through, by not thinking, and just reacting to my gut... When indeed I am just acting on emotions... The kicker is that this is not the first time that I have allowed my emotions to dictate my actions with this person. One thing about words, you can not take them back...

Why do women do this? Why did I do this? Get in my own way. My problem is that I try to protect my heart from hurt but this hurts even worst than what probably could have happened and it is my own fault. I have lost the one thing besides my children that has made me happy over the last couple of months. And it seems that no matter what I do or say there is no getting him back. Lifes lessons are a hard dose of medicine to swallow...

What I am learning is that I have to always continue to work on me and how not to let my emotions control the wheel. I have learned what it has felt to be loved with ones whole heart and not some fake it till you make it love... I just hope that I am able to capture that feeling again before I leave this earth.

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