Thursday, December 2, 2010

Single AGAIN!!! :(

Well I find myself SINGLE AGAIN... And it was one of those "it's not you, it's me" type of deals... So my question to all those interested is what do you do when someone breaks-up and ask to remain friends? Is that considered a "clean break-up"? While I am having my own challenges with getting over the shock of it all, my mind races to understand and follow the un-said rules. Any little word or action can cross the friend line and possibly cause friction or frustration.

Not only did I LOVE but I LOVED hard and unconditionally. I operated outside of the box on this one... I allowed myself to let go and see the many possibilities of a relationship and it felt so damn good. It was like a drug and I constantly needed a fix. I am in no way saying that I am perfect but dang... I really want to SCREAM "WTF"...

I have no desire to go back to filtering through all the sour apples to find a good one again....


  1. I love you and always have. You were always a special person to me. So, I will say this with all sincerity.

    It is my opinion that people in general usually are reactive instead of proactive. When things happen in life, love or relationships, we tend to want to jump and immediately try to resolve the issue. In fact, we (mostly women) will keep nagging the issue along until your partner addresses it. We don't want to allow time for thinking and working out thoughts. Somehow, we believe that an immediate response is needed for every situation.

    A relationship is a big thing and needs to be handled with care. You can't make quick decisions with it no more than you can make a quick decision on buying a house or a new car.

    I don't know what happened in your relationship and no one needs to know. However, I can say this. In the future, take your time with decisions. Pick your fights and battles wisely because everything doesn't rise to that level. Learn to let things slide. You don't have to ever hold your tongue or not speak up. You just have to take your time, get your thoughts together and address the issue with care.

    I can also say this. No matter how much you love or loved someone, don't go back. If someone professes to love you unconditionally then breaks up with you and leaves you once, then they will have the same nerve to leave you again. There is nothing wrong with being single. Just love yourself. Someone will come along.

  2. If you don't mind I'd like to comment because I've dealt with this situation in the past. I had a problem dating the same man for 3 years without any sign of engagement or marriage in our future. I pushed and pushed to try and make him understand how I felt about not being married after all that time, I spent countless hours, days, months and weeks trying to make him focus on OUR future, until one day just like you I got the dreaded I need time and space and it's not you, it's me and I hope we can remain friends and it devastated me and tore me up for weeks until he later came to me and asked to have a nonconfrontational conversation about the situation and to make a long story short...IT WAS ME!!! He could not take the pressure of me baggering him about marriage so much. It boiled down to this, he was having the same thoughts of marriage that I was but he was trying to prepare himself mentally, spiritually and financially to make sure he was the best husband he could be for me and OUR family if we planned to have kids. As I look back on the situation and we still have conversations about it with our single friends and I'm going to tell you like I tell them "YOU SHOULD WANT A (WHOLE)MAN TO COMPLETE YOUR MARRIAGE THAN A (INCOMPLETE)MAN AND A BROKEN HOME AND MARRIAGE.I'm saying that to say this although marriage may not be your issue you have to learn to have patience in everything you do.Especially if you know you have a man worthy of not just your love but your life. I hope this helps.