Getting out of my on way...

"When we talk too much... we listen too little...be a good listener..."

So last night I was having a conversation with a male friend and he, in a round about way, poured his heart out to me about his feelings.  At that moment I realized that I haven't been a good listener when it comes to him because this is not the first time he has expressed himself in this manner.  Yet I let past situations (luggage) surface and go in defense mode.  It is truly necessary to let go of the past because it has caused me to put a padlock on my heart and not trust anyone with it.

So in the mist of the back and forth conversation we were having I SHUT UP... I LISTENED...  I was able to really take in what he was saying and I am considering getting out of my own way and giving him the opportunity to make good on what he has told me...

Peace and blessings
Shivawn

Easy for others, hard for me...

Today while doing my daily facebook fix, I noticed that an ex-boyfriend of mine has changed his relationship status to engaged....  While I am very happy for his happiness this is the 2nd marriage that he has had since we broke up and his 4th time getting married altogether...  I am not saying that is a bad or good thing but I often wonder why it is so easy for some people to not only find a mate but also fall in love so quickly.  Does this mean there is something ultimately wrong with me?  Am I in the wrong places making myself available for love? 

This is a pretty interesting and lingering thought that I have today.  I almost find myself wanting to settle but I know me better than that...

Peace and Blessings
Shivawn

Great Weekend...

So I just had to share that I had a great weekend.  I went on a bus trip to Charlotte, NC to attend the Panthers vs. Bronco football game.  The good thing about being in a city like Charlotte is there are so many things you can do and see without traveling to far out. 

This is the 4th year I have participated on this bus trip and this year I was able to eat at Flemings Steakhouse.  Although I did not have the steak everyone else around me seemed to be very pleased with the steak they purchased for dinner.  About 20 of use sat around the table and we were able to share sides and partake in some good food.  I had the scallops, vegetables, Fleming potatoes, and macaroni and cheese...  I was pleasantly pleased with the food and can't wait to be able to go back there again.

Saturday night we attended the Bobcats vs Mavericks basketball game.  Couldn't beat paying $16 to see them play and for a change the Bobcats won in overtime... The next thing on the agenda was to go to a night club but I didn't make it.  After that meal and the game this sister was TIRED.  I called myself taking a little nap and it was a done deal.  Once I laid in my bed I was done until the next morning...

On Sunday after everyone got breakfast for themselves we boarded the bus and headed to the stadium for the game.  I love football because fans are so loyal and have a ball tailgating and just being fans at the game.  It turned out to be a great sunny day and the weather was in the low 70s.  The only downside to going with a group is the seats were almost touching the sun.  Climbing the stairs to get to your seats is a workout so the best thing to do is get EVERYTHING you need prior to getting to your seat because no one wants to climb those stairs multiple times...  LOL

I am telling you about this experience because being single doesn't mean you can't still do the things you enjoy.  I go on this trip by myself and I have developed some good acquaintances which is alway a plus.  I hope your weekend went well. 

BTW: Didn't take many pictures so sorry about that... Next trip I will...

Peace and Blessings
Shivawn

Online Dating...

So I have decided to try online dating sites again...  What are your thoughts?  I really haven't been going out many places lately to even meet new faces so I figured this would be an avenue.  In the past I have met some nice men and developed SOME good friendships. 

Would this be a option for you in your world of dating and if so what sites do you suggest? Is online dating any different from meeting a random person at a bar or gas station?  Often times I get mixed reviews about the online dating scene. But I just thought I would keep those who read this blog up to date with my efforts... LOL

Peace and Blessings
Shivawn

As the holidays approach...

Those who know me, know that I absolutely love the holidays...  I love Thanksgiving and I love Christmas...  For me there is this HAPPY feeling in the atmosphere.  I get the most joy out of being able to visit my family out of town.  This year I plan on spending Thanksgiving in NY with my dad and step-mother.  I especially like it there because my step-mother cooks so much food.  It is peaceful to be away from home and my daughters love to go shopping on black Friday in SoHo...  They really think they are New Yorkers by way of Virginia... LOL 

 I know I talk a lot about relationships with the opposite sex but I also think relationships with my family and friends are just as important.  Although there can be some messed up family members there is nothing like gathering during the holidays and laughing about things from the past and filling our stomachs with some good food.  I hopefully think that one day I will have a home big enough to invite my family to and cook for them.  I never thought I would say this but I LOVE to cook and would be happy to share my skills with my family.

This year for Christmas I am thinking that I am going to try to and change my relationship with my mom.  I think with effort I could possibly do this.  We will see. 

How do you spend your holiday time?


Peace and Blessings
Shivawn

So many right things in my life

I do understand that I am responsible for my own happiness and typically I am a happy person...  While I am soo happy with my life I am not satisfied with the current relationship status that I have been in for what seems to be a lifetime... 

Everything is going right for me in my mind but that...  I have a good job, great kids, great friends, and I am working on my MBA.... All this going on and no one to share it with....  WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN? 

And I know I have started taking ballet, running, classes, keeping my girls busy, and anything else that will keep me busy to divert the attention away from the fact that I WANT TO HAVE A COMPANION... 

Lord help me...

Shivawn