Farewell 2013.... Hello 2014...

Hi all!!!  Wanted to send a quick happy new year to all those who choose to read this blog.  I am very appreciative of your the time you take to read a glimpse of my life.  I don't mind sharing as it is therapy for me.  I see big things coming to this blog in 2014 including moving to a private domain.  I am very exited about this.  I hope for increase in 2014...

Love, Peace, and Blessings
Shivawn

The Effects of An Ex

I was just sitting here thinking about the first time I heard Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill...  I remember driving up to Richmond, VA to visit her and we discussed this song in great detail.  It is so funny how the effects of an Ex can be deeply rooted inside.  It is also interesting how some Ex's effect you more than others.  For example when I was around the age of 13-14 I had a "puppy love" relationship with this boy...  The most we could do is sit on the porch and talk or sit up on the phone late hours in the night talking.  But one thing that stood out about him is that he was very romantic in a 16 year old kind of way. (I am sure he was about 2 - 3 years older than me)  He used to hug and cuddle and sing Babyface songs to me... LOL  I still chuckle about that today...  But he showed me romance and gave me a glimpse of what I desire today.  That just goes to show you that not all luggage is bad luggage from previous relationships...

My long distance Ex taught me patience and trust and also how to let go of standards that I set which make me get in my own way.  I say that because for a long time I was pretty concrete about not being in a long distance relationship.  I, however, went against the grain and allowed myself to let go of my guard and try it out.  For a long time it worked very well.  That Ex also made me appreciate the precious time we got to spend together when we did see each other and to embrace each moment.  God knows the visits were epic...

Lastly, I would like to speak on my Ex husband and the after effects of marriage.  From that relationship I learned how to compromise, be unselfish, commitment, and the value of family.  I appreciate that from him playing the role of husband and father for the short period of time we were together.

As always these are just random thoughts of a single woman...  I hope you can relate and share in the comments...

Peace and Blessings,

Shivawn

No Condom - No Cookie

Situation: A man text a woman and asked her if they could have sex tonight.  The woman responds and says yes and lets the man know that he needs to wear a condom.  If no condom then no sex.  The woman never hears from the man again....

Okay this is a real topic...  Maybe too real for some people but whatever.  It's not that I don't care about you because I do, hence the topic at hand.  I am 37 and single.  In my lifetime I have been propositioned by several men to have a sexual encounter.  What surprises me is the number of men who get disgruntle by the request to wear a condom.  It is not like STD's have magically disappeared.  Matter of fact according to the CDC, data shows higher rates of reported STDs among some racial or ethnic minority groups when compared with rates among whites.   

It appears that majority of the men and women only think about not getting a woman pregnant.  Well what about getting an STD or HIV? There is no comfort level for me when it comes to unprotected sex.  Even in the best situations I have seen husbands giving their wives an STD.  Sad but true.  So if you take a deaf ear to my request to put on a condom then you gets none of this cookie...  Do your research...  http://www.cdc.gov/std/

Just Saying...

Peace and Blessing

Shivawn

I don't want to date a woman who has kids....

There are some phrases as a single woman with children that just make my skin crawl.  The title of this blog post is on the top of the list.  While I know that is a man's preference and everyone is entitled to their preference...  It just baffles me when a man (who has kids) says this...  It is my opinion that this statement is one of the most selfish things to say to a single woman raising her child(ren)...  Well if you are a man who has kids....  

I am sure there are several reasons why a man doesn't want to date a woman that has children...  I am sure they think there will be drama with the kids father or if there is a difference of opinion on how to discipline a kid, etc...  While those could be valid, I think each situation presents itself differently...  And does that man ever stop for a moment and think about the drama they may bring to a relationship with their kids mother... 

My point with this post really is that people (men and women) need to stop generalizing and putting people in a box based on the last situation they were in...  You could miss out on great opportunities...

Peace and Blessing

Shivawn

P.S.  this post is random and unedited 

Wordle

Happy Umm New Year!!!

It's been a while.  I decided to take a little break from blogging up here as I celebrated the holidays.  I really enjoyed the time I spent with my family and friends.  Usually around the holidays I throw this BIG "A" pity party for myself because I am without companion.  This year I took a totally different approach.  I am a joyful person and decided to live life until I just can't enjoy it...  I hope you all enjoyed the same. 

I am actually thinking about ending this blog.  It was very enjoyable when I started it and became a very productive outlet for me.  I am not sure it really has a purpose in my life anymore.  I am still juggling the thought....

I hope you all had a great time during the holiday!!!

Peace and Blessings
Shivawn