Today I have been finishing up the February issue of Black Enterprise magazine and there is an impromptu interview with Tasha Smith. The actress we have grown to know from Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married movies.
In the article she said "a lot of women are insecure and fearful of abandonment, which makes them destructive and reactive". This statement definitely got the wheels turning in my brain to think about what she was saying. As a woman, I CAN RELATE!!! I have been destructive and reactive in my relationships because I have been insecure and fearful that my significant other is going to leave or find someone else that is better than me. The true test is learning how to deal with those emotions rationally.
For me I find that I have gone from one extreme to the other. Instead of being destructive and/or reactive, I now shut down. I disguise it as me taking some time to think about things but the simple fact of the matter is that I don't deal with it at all. I simply shut down and remove whatever situation I am in out of my mind. This is not healthy for me at all. I really need to work on dealing with those feelings and emotions better. I am still a WORK IN PROGRESS...
If you can relate leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts on this topic.
Peace and Blessings!!!
I am more like the way you say you are now, at the other end of the spectrum. I shut down at the thought of someone leaving me. I find this to be true because of my past. My mother died when I was 2. My earthly father abandoned me when I was 1 and my grandparents who raised me also died when I was young. So I am used to being detached emotionally because everyone I love seems to leave and yes I agree with you, it is not healthy. This is one of the reasons I am so dependant on the Lord. I don't want to come off as cold and not needing anyone and at the same time I don't want to place anyone in the place of God who is the only One who will never leave me nor forsake me. So as you can see, we all are works in progress. Thanks for another insightful post. Be blessed!
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