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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Angry Black Woman, I am not....

I don't know how many times I get that from men... Again I say that I am not an angry black woman...  I am quite the opposite if one would stop looking at the headlines and get to know the interior.  I don't go around snapping my neck at people or men and I have cut down significantly on the male bashing as I find that it gets me no where fast...  LOL

I am, however, a woman who is able to have choices and a opinion.  I try to stay honest with my thoughts and how I interact with people.  This blog is not designed to bash any male but to share my experiences good and bad in the dating scene. 

Peace and Blessings.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Guest blogger invitation...

Hey all...

I really would like to expand my blog so this is a invite for those interested (men and women) to be a guest writer.  If you have something to share that is related to the content of this blog the send your writings to me at shivawn.brimage@gmail.com...  I will feature a guest blog at minimum once a month, depending on the responses.

I think 2012 will be an interesting and prosperous year and I am so happy to share it with you.

Peace and Blessings
Shivawn

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Perceptions....

I recently completed the course "Applying Psychology" where we discussed a lot about perceptions.  That has been a lingering subject in my mind lately and I just wanted to talk about it as a single woman.  You see people perceive that because I am single I am unhappy... Well contrary to popular belief, I am rather the opposite.  I occupy my time with things that I enjoy the most...  I spend time with my daughters which brings me the most joy.  Little do they know that while I am nurturing them they are doing the same for me. 

I date... Yes I said it... I date...  LOL  I go out on dates with men who share the same interest as I do...  I just work at a snails pace when it comes to relationships now-a-days...  It is my preference. 

Another perception that I get especially from men is that I need to be "saved" from this state of being single... LOL  I think it is funny because that is a number one turn off for me.  While I want a man in my life who is a provider, the only man in my life that has been my savior, died on the cross 2011 years ago. 

I just enjoy writing about my random thoughts while being 35 and single.  I wish I could write more about my dating experiences but I just keep them to myself to protect the innocent.  I hope everyone is gearing up for the Christmas/New Year holidays.  I hope to be going to Brooklyn to visit family during this time.




Peace and Blessings to you...

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Christmas Wish List....

In my last post "I cried this morning..." , I was just sharing with you a moment of transparency, clarity, and renewal.  I just want the people who read this blog to be able to relate.  A lot of my life is filled with joy and happiness, especially around the holidays.  This is my absolute favorite time of the year. 

So with that said, here are the top 5 things on my Christmas wish list for 2011...

Upper Westside Northface Coat



I-Phone 4s




Vera Wang Princess Perfume




Sony Camcorder

Spa Gift Certificate



Those are my top 5 things, what are yours?  Feel free to comment below.


Peace and Blessings!!!!


 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

I Cried This Morning...

This morning I woke up and while in prayer I cried...  I cried because I couldn't help but think about how alone I feel.  Maybe my estrogen levels are at a higher rate than normal today but I really sat on the side of my bed and sobbed like a baby.  The thought was consuming. The human (flesh) side of me wants a relationship... A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP... 

Now don't get me wrong I am thankful for my children, family, and friends.  I am thankful for the unconditional love that God has for me therefore I am never truly alone.  But as I look around and do some soul searching I never thought that at 35 years old I wouldn't be happily in love.  Then I access some of the relationships and friendships I have let go because of my selfish and uncaring attitude.  I try to never point the finger at the men but I try to realize what part I played in my relationship fiasco.

In some ways I wish I could have the opportunity to get away and really take a in-depth assessment of my life priorities.  Maybe that is something I can do for 2012....

Peace and blessings...

Friday, December 2, 2011

Why I'm Not Married...

This morning while browsing Facebook... (LOL) I came across an article that was shared by one of my male friends.  I do enjoy an interesting read from time to time and I can surely say this one pulled on some of my heart strings.  While all of me could be in denial about some of the truths in this article a lot of me related very much to what the author was saying...  Basically Tracy McMillian wrote "Why you're not married" which talks about her 6 top reasons why a woman is not married. 

I will not say which ones apply to me but there were a couple.  Here is a synopsis of what she wrote:

1. You're a Bitch - Basically you are angry at the world and you are not afraid to let everyone including the man you are trying to be with, know it.

2. You're Shallow - You are looking for someone who meets a list of things instead of a man with character.  Character is what matters the most because "men of character are, by definition, willing to commit."

3. You're a Slut -  Hooking up with men is fine for someone not looking for marriage but if you are trying to be married then you need to save yourself for that person because once those legs open you are subject to release a hormone (oxytocin) which bonds us with that lay...

4. You're a Liar -  In my opinion, this is mostly to yourself...  You meet a man that clearly is not available for a relationship and you swear you don't want one with him until you open your legs and then you bond and then you want something different.

5. You're Selfish -  Because you are single you do think about yourself A LOT... A married woman doesn't spend most of her day thinking about herself because she has to much other stuff to think about.

6. You're Not Good Enough - You are not looking for someone that is your equal but someone that is better than you so therefore you feel that you are not good enough...  I like how she says "You are enough right this minute. PERIOD."


While some of the terms are severely harsh sometimes I need this personal attack to wake myself up to the reality of the reasons why I am not married and my contribution to those reasons.


Peace and Blessing...