Friday, May 18, 2012

In a little funk...

Every now and again I do get in a little funk about my current relationship status.  Today just happens to be one of those times.  I could sit around having a pity party about it but instead I decided to just write some of my thoughts in this blog post.

Well my first thought is why has it been so difficult at 35 for me to come across a match...  They don't have to be perfect but they have to be in the same head space as me.  I hope to someday be with a man I can call my friend first and secondly we be in the same head space at the same time.  What I mean is we are in search of something more out of our friendship which leads to a more productive relationship and so on and so forth. 

My second thought is are my standards to high.  Am I being unrealistic with my relationship expectations?  Am I at a age where I have to bend a little...  I don't personally feel that I have high standards but I may have to re-evaluate SOME things...

My last thought that I will share with you today...  Am I too comfortable with being single?  Have I been in this state of mind so long that I am not putting off an ora of the need to be in a relationship?  I was talking to a man recently and he seemed to believe that I may find it difficult to let go of the control that I have had to have in managing my own life by myself for so long.  It is an interesting thought but I don't think it will be difficult for me to do.

Thanks for reading and comment if you desire

Peace and Blessings....

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

How important is the physical relationship to you?

   There is a man that I have known for a little while now who is in his 30s.  We are friends and often have good conversations about general stuff.  Nothing in particular to name.  My friend had kidney failure a few years back and recently celebrated one year of having a kidney transplant. 

   He shared with me how all the medication he has to take currently makes him unable to perform in bed and how he sort of regrets the actions from his past that affected him to not be able to have a physical relationship with a woman at this age of his life.  I shared with him that for me the physical aspect of a relationship was important to me and I probably wouldn't want to date him because I know that would impact a relationship with him.  I find that along with all the other things that go on in relationships the physical part for me is significant.

  Now if this was someone that I was already involved with and had loved prior to all that has happened to him I probably would be okay.  However for me going into a relationship with someone who possibly would never be able to satisfy that need would be a road to disaster. 

  So I ask you...  How important is the physical relationship to you?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I had to abruptly let him go...

Hey all... I know it has been a few weeks since my last post but I needed a little break... 

It has been a little over a week since I abruptly let a man in my life go.  When I say abruptly I mean I just stopped communicating with him with no explanation.  The last conversation we had wasn't even a bad one however I realized that I had been in denial for a long time about the dynamics of our friendship. 

I have always been able to give what I would think to be sound advise to my friends and associates about relationships with people and it was time for me to start taking my own advise.  I felt this man was stringing me along and guess what I was allowing him to do so for many months...  I had nothing to look forward to other than the hope and/or possibility of a reunion of the relationship.  He would give me just enough words to keep me hopeful but nothing ever panned out.  I would say when are we going to be together and he would say very very soon but what I realized is that he was saying the same thing a year prior to that and the year prior to that.

I can never understand why people contradict what they say.  He told me he loved me and he was in love with me but yet the timing wasn't right for us to be together.  CONTRADICTION...  It took me a moment to get it but I finally got it last week.  I was in an unstable relationship.  I was bound to end up hating this person if I didn't get out when I could.  I was frustrated and in a state of denial but getting angry at the same time.  At that moment I knew I needed to release myself of this person and situation.  It was the only way I could truly move on with my life and give this dating game a fighting chance... 

I now feel lighter...  I feel a burden or cloud has been lifted and I am truly smiling again.  Never will I let something influence my emotions the way that situation did... 

Peace and Blessings