Thursday, December 31, 2009
The phone call...
Hi all, So yesterday I get a phone call from a man that I have known for about 2 years now. We dated casually when we first met but I was still at a crossroads from another relationship and decided that I need to close one book before I opened another one.... To make a long story short.... He and I kept in touch and are friends but now he is in a relationship and it appears to be a pretty good one. That is great and I am happy for him as he would always tell me that "Nice guys finish last"... Anyway, on the phone yesterday he ask me why didn't I call him to check up on him... My response was something like "Isn't that what your girlfriend is for?".... Was that a wrong statement? I mean he and I are friends but not to the point where I was conversating with him everyday. I feel that out of respect for his girl I don't call. I wouldn't want that to happen to me. Plus when I get on the phone with this dude he makes all kinds of cracks about us going to dinner or me coming over so he can cook for me and such.... IMO that is a set up and I just don't have time for it. So do I cut ties with this man? I don't need the attention from an already taken man for sure....
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You don't have to cut ties if this man is a good friend. You do need to set boundaries and help him realize that you are being respectful to his girlfriend. I know many people don't believe that men and women can just be friends but I differ. It is fine to trash talk, have 'inside' jokes, but that all comes with time and true friendship. In addition, if he wants to just remain friends at some point he needs to inform his girlfriend that he has a lady that is a friend and maybe they should meet. Many of my male friends are married, got girlfriends, etc...and they always tell them about me. In one case the ex-boyfriend of mine and his new girlfriend are always together hanging out. She is thankful that I respected their relationship and I give her the 'inside track' on how to deal with him. Everything in life is what you make it. Good friends are hard to come by so you decide whether he fits in that category or not.
ReplyDeleteOk. so you dated casually, you both moved on and now you're friends. I think you still have feelings for this guy and may be afraid of getting in too deep. If he's a friend, you should meet his girlfriend. Out of respect, she should know who his friends are. Otherwise let go.
ReplyDeleteSmh itll get betta, but if u dont want any drama or issues cut the ties.
ReplyDelete