6 Ways to Not Lose Your Sanity while Being Single

I guess I am a novice at being single so I wanted to share with you my top 10 ways to not go insane while being single.  I hope that those of  you who are single that read this blog find some useful tips to enjoy your relationship challenged status....

1. Take yourself out on a date.  I often use some of my free time on the weekend to take myself out on a date.  Now in order to do this you have to be very comfortable with being out alone with no friends or family.  A date for me could be pampering myself with a mani/pedi and shopping for a nice outfit for work or going out to eat dinner and checking out a movie.  It is important to take yourself out because you start to establish the things and/or events that you truly value.
2. Catch a marathon on TV.  One of my all time favorite murder mystery series on TV is Criminal Minds and often I can find a all day marathon on one of my cable channels that keeps me entertained for a while.  I may fix myself some popcorn and plop right on the couch for the day.
3. Workout.  Recently I joined a runners group in my area called Black Girls Run.  By joining this group I am able to socialize with women who like to run once a week and it takes my mind off of being single.  This group also encourages me to workout and complete several goals that I have mentally to run a 5k.
4. Higher Education.  Going back to school to start and/or complete your degree work is a great way to keep your sanity while being single.  Because you are single you can focus on classwork and have that extra free time to focus on being a successful student. 
5. Take a mini weekend get-a-way.  On many occasions in the last few years I have been able to take mini vacations and travel to places that I have never been before within the U.S.  While this can get costly, you can plan a few trips out and budget for the next year.  In the last year I was able to visit Chicago, Charlotte, Las Vegas, and Palm Springs.  By using payment plans I was able to have my trips paid for well in advance and just worry about spending money.
6. Volunteer at your child's school.  As a single parent it is also important to stay involved in your child's activities at school.  Not only has volunteering allowed me to do this but it also keeps my mind occupied from thinking about being single.  Children who are active in school will keep you very busy.  I have children that are in the band, cheer, and play basketball so a lot of my free time is spent being a taxi or helping out with other parents.

These are just a few ways that I keep myself sane while embracing this single life journey.  Please share in the comments sections other ways to keep yourself sane and busy while being single.

Peace and Blessings.

What's wrong with a Happy Ending?

Hey all!!!  Happy Fall...  To me this is the best season of the year.  Although my allergies are flaring a bit I still truly enjoy the changing of the leaves and the crisp chill in the morning air.  I love pulling out my scarf collection and bundling up with a nice sweater or jacket.

My purpose for this post is I am currently watching Love Jones (the movie) for the hundredth time and I began to think about happy endings.  Now I have come across a lot of people who think women believe a relationship is gonna be like what we see in the movies...  That we as women seek a fairytale.  Now I don't believe that a relationship is going to be completely like we see on TV but what is wrong with wanting a happy ending?  I know everything in a relationship is not going to go right but at the end of the day, when the smoke clears I want to be happy. 

So while on this involuntary single life journey I am evaluation and re-evaluating my definition of happiness and happy endings.  In my mind happiness is relative.  I want to be able to use sound judgement in making decision when it comes to the matters of *MY* heart.

Peace and Blessings

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL???

I am soooo ready... I don't have a team that I follow but shoot what single woman wouldn't want to watch football in a sports bar... IJS...  So I will continue to say that my team is the Cleveland Browns because it definitely makes for an interesting conversation and hope for the best. :)

Happy Football Season yall!!

Peace and Blessings...

Why I am single???

So I get the question a lot asking "Why are you single?"... and yesterday on my personal FB page I posted a few reasons why I am no longer in some of the relationships I have had in the past.  Beyond those reasons I am currently single because I haven't been actively going outside of my house to social events that would put me in contact with a man.  I often ask myself how do you think that you will end up in a relationship when you are not out there meeting anyone.  I don't know if it is because I am getting older and don't desire to "go out" anymore or just lazy.  I can't continue to complain about it if I am not doing anything about it.  That is some what the definition of insanity.

I am currently brainstorming on out of the box ways to meet men.  I have done the online dating and I am not opposed to doing that again.  I just would like to have some face to face interaction these days so I am going to have to come up with something different. 

Those are just some random thoughts that I have had lately.

Peace and Blessings

Jill Scott's "Light of the Sun" is gonna get this single woman in trouble!!!

So I have been so HIGH on the recently released Jill Scott cd "Light of the Sun".  I am a little bias because I am a Jill Scott fan however if you listen to the lyrics you will be pleasantly pleased.

I say that it is going to get me in trouble because after listening to some songs I feel like I NEED to be "boo'd-up"... for a lack of a better term.  Man how I wish that I could just go home to a nice man and be dickmatized as she so bluntly put it in the song "Making You Wait"...  I'm just saying... LOL  That song is sexy in my opinion.  So as I hit the repeat button on that one song, I sit patiently waiting on him again....


Peace and Blessings!!!
Shivawn

My Second Wind

Because I am a christian I have to attribute all of what I am about to say to my relationship that I have with God...

I can truly say at this moment, God has given me my second wind.  I must admit that I took a hard fall after my last failed relationship but what I have realized over the last 2 weeks is that I love myself so much more than that relationship.  I had to realize that God has his hand all throughout my life and things happen for a reason.  I am not bitter nor have I ever really been about no longer being in a relationship because the last one taught me how to love again... Not only to love another person wholeheartedly but love myself completely again. 

I say that because I believe that I was truly broken through-out the last 7 years...  I had a failed marriage and no solid foundation to stand on.  But now I have realized that I had to continue to stand on the word of God and things will happen in the order that he wants them to.  I am actually proud of myself for standing strong and allowing my walk to influence the walk of my two precious daughters.  I know that this blog is dedicated to my single life blunders and wonders but I had to take a moment and give praise where praise is due...

Be Blessed everyone and live life like there is no tomorrow.

Am I getting in my own way?

Long time no see... LOL...  Anyway recently I was asked out on a dinner date from someone that I have known for a while.  He asked me out via text on a Tuesday and I responded, after much thought, on a Thursday and agreed to go out.  When he responded he said "Wow! What a late response. Lol!" and I didn't respond to that.  So a few days later he sends yet another text and ask "Where you chillin at tonight?  Trying to figure out where I'm going.  Would be nice to run into you.".  I was in the house for the evening and advised him of that. 

At this point he hadn't even scheduled the dinner date so finally he asked *ME* when is dinner happening and I respond with you tell me.  So in my mind I think... HERE WE GO AGAIN...  I mean if a man ask a woman out on a date, shouldn't he have some idea of what he wants to do, when he wants to go, etc... I know I have children and you may be taking them into consideration but I have already told you that I am flexible...

So I suggest to go to a festival on Saturday to chill and listen to live music and you tell me that you are not "feeling" that... REALLY!!!  I will not let this one situation guide my feelings towards dating again but dang-it this is the second time this has happened to me... 

Dating is like finding a needle in a hay stack...