This is my account of being a 30 something single woman in 2013. The primary purpose of this is to share my dating horrors and success stories. This is my way of venting a little.... LOL Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions.
This morning I woke up feeling great... I have really been thinking about myself as a woman. I think through all the hustling I do as a mother, student, and worker bee, I forget that I am a beautiful woman. So this morning I took the time to pick out something pretty flattering for my body type to wear to work... I also added a little make-up to my face and last night I flat-ironed and pin-curled my hair to have a soft look.... I am telling you these little added touches made all the difference in the world... I am smiling and I feel amazing. I am ready to concur the world today...
I am a true believer in God but also the law of attraction... I will attract positive vibes into my life today... Be GREAT!!!
How in 2014 presenting itself for you? So far, so good I hope...
I was reminded yesterday that I have to take ownership of my role in my friendships/relationships/acquaintances... I was having a phone conversation with a man who made the statement "you must have a man now because I don't hear from you unless I call you"... I guess I went into defense mode because I immediately began to verbalize all the reason why I didn't call based on what I thought HE wanted.... The truth of the matter was I changed. I no longer desired his company because we were headed down two completely different roads in life. Once I realized what I was doing I apologized to him for that and explain to him MY reasons for cutting ties with him. He appreciated that and my honesty of course.
My opinion is that we rarely see our role in why relationships end or change pace. It will be my goal to now take ownership for my actions and/or reactions to situations with my friends and acquaintances... I will try hard to not put all the blame on the other party. I think it is human nature to do so but I am going to break this cycle in MY life. Take heed.... LOL
Pondering over my 2014 goals I've decided to share with you the things I deserve more of in 2014.
Weekend get-a-ways with and without the lil diva's... I do enjoy a couple of days to get away from the noise and even when I take my daughters with me they are old enough now to do their own thing for the most part so weekend trips with them are usually peaceful as long as they have their own space.
Long French Kisses on a Saturday afternoon. So YES I have been SINGLE but I also have been DATING, which means I have shared a few great kisses... Oh to have that cloud 9 feeling again... Have you every been kissed so damn good that you nearly pass out from feeling light headed.... Yup I deserve more of that in 2014.
Happiness. I must say 2012 and 2013 had bad points but for the most part I was very HAPPY... Happy with myself and all the things that I achieved. I hope to continue that path.
Music. I deserve to enjoy more music by way of concerts and live bands. I am a music lover to the core.
Progress towards that bikini body. I will continue my workout regimen in hopes to find that beautiful bikini body I once had again....
Experience love with no BOUNDARIES... If I say it loud enough it will manifest itself.
What are some of the things you deserve more of in 2014? Let me know in the comments section
Hi all!!! Wanted to send a quick happy new year to all those who choose to read this blog. I am very appreciative of your the time you take to read a glimpse of my life. I don't mind sharing as it is therapy for me. I see big things coming to this blog in 2014 including moving to a private domain. I am very exited about this. I hope for increase in 2014...
I was just sitting here thinking about the first time I heard Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill... I remember driving up to Richmond, VA to visit her and we discussed this song in great detail. It is so funny how the effects of an Ex can be deeply rooted inside. It is also interesting how some Ex's effect you more than others. For example when I was around the age of 13-14 I had a "puppy love" relationship with this boy... The most we could do is sit on the porch and talk or sit up on the phone late hours in the night talking. But one thing that stood out about him is that he was very romantic in a 16 year old kind of way. (I am sure he was about 2 - 3 years older than me) He used to hug and cuddle and sing Babyface songs to me... LOL I still chuckle about that today... But he showed me romance and gave me a glimpse of what I desire today. That just goes to show you that not all luggage is bad luggage from previous relationships...
My long distance Ex taught me patience and trust and also how to let go of standards that I set which make me get in my own way. I say that because for a long time I was pretty concrete about not being in a long distance relationship. I, however, went against the grain and allowed myself to let go of my guard and try it out. For a long time it worked very well. That Ex also made me appreciate the precious time we got to spend together when we did see each other and to embrace each moment. God knows the visits were epic...
Lastly, I would like to speak on my Ex husband and the after effects of marriage. From that relationship I learned how to compromise, be unselfish, commitment, and the value of family. I appreciate that from him playing the role of husband and father for the short period of time we were together.
As always these are just random thoughts of a single woman... I hope you can relate and share in the comments...
Situation:A man text a woman and asked her if they could have sex tonight. The woman responds and says yes and lets the man know that he needs to wear a condom. If no condom then no sex. The woman never hears from the man again....
Okay this is a real topic... Maybe too real for some people but whatever. It's not that I don't care about you because I do, hence the topic at hand. I am 37 and single. In my lifetime I have been propositioned by several men to have a sexual encounter. What surprises me is the number of men who get disgruntle by the request to wear a condom. It is not like STD's have magically disappeared. Matter of fact according to the CDC, data shows higher rates of reported STDs among some racial or ethnic minority groups when compared with rates among whites.
It appears that majority of the men and women only think about not getting a woman pregnant. Well what about getting an STD or HIV? There is no comfort level for me when it comes to unprotected sex. Even in the best situations I have seen husbands giving their wives an STD. Sad but true. So if you take a deaf ear to my request to put on a condom then you gets none of this cookie... Do your research... http://www.cdc.gov/std/
There are some phrases as a single woman with children that just make my skin crawl. The title of this blog post is on the top of the list. While I know that is a man's preference and everyone is entitled to their preference... It just baffles me when a man (who has kids) says this... It is my opinion that this statement is one of the most selfish things to say to a single woman raising her child(ren)... Well if you are a man who has kids....
I am sure there are several reasons why a man doesn't want to date a woman that has children... I am sure they think there will be drama with the kids father or if there is a difference of opinion on how to discipline a kid, etc... While those could be valid, I think each situation presents itself differently... And does that man ever stop for a moment and think about the drama they may bring to a relationship with their kids mother...
My point with this post really is that people (men and women) need to stop generalizing and putting people in a box based on the last situation they were in... You could miss out on great opportunities...
